My Blog

free to be love and found one

mintypepper01 — Wed, 29 Aug 2007 16:04:31 +0000

Again i faced the mirror told myself "your aint alone nor never be notice…. because your cool to be with and your hot to be with"
yahh impossible to be true but it was hehehehehehe got a new man hope he is the one i was looking for hope the guy that i fantasies is in him.Qualities that i dont want to mention because branding him will not be humane it will loose its uniqueness .
time will tell if he is the one, his love for me and my love for him will be tested to keep on or to let go…. cant tell at the moment hope this will last.

me why not me……..

mintypepper01 — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 04:22:36 +0000

years and years passed by …seeing peoples pass by maybe they will notice the real me until they saw and talked to me im thankful those who decided to know me and spent time and stayed but still i feel lonely…..maybe i just need someone who i can rely on who i can share my thoughts and feelings and even my craziest time maybe i never search hard but im tired of searching ….. i stopped searching they said for me to wait …. i said until when? how long? maybe i could be tired of waiting …. and i came to point i felt tired of waiting and i said to myself is there wrong w/ me ??? i cant find the answer now …. hope soon someone can be give me hand on my feelings…..

June 13th the day i die ……………my love for you

mintypepper01 — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 05:35:59 +0000

We still used to say our his hellos and hows your day to each other… everyday… even after our bumpy ride of our lives and now you have a new passenger at your side and you confessed that he is far more than better and loved i try to contain myself my feelings on that time and not to try to show it in front of you what i was feeling inside by that time and now i confessed to you all
my world crashed as if i wanted to explode and fade away as the air pass by, you inconsiderate manner lead me to my loneliest days and nights and the thing is.. theres nothing i could do to ease the pain inside of me….. i screamed for help no one answers… maybe it could just maybe ,I’m bound to be lonely for the moment and maybe for a long time .tried disclose feeling to a friend they cant do much since we are apart now loosing so many people in a short period of time
is really devastating though I’m still holding on a hope that maybe in time i will feel loved again perhaps i don’t need anyone to help me perhaps i just need to learn to help myself first so if this come again i will not be plunged to the abyss of loneliness no more .

Hi..Hellooo.. Goodbye… hope not forever

mintypepper01 — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 14:39:04 +0000

one time a friend arrived …I accepted him in my arms warmly and understand for what he may have on that time,moments were created and deepenned understamding to each other ……

Let me clear it ain’t my lover but a "long lost dear friend" who i shared intimate moment when i was younger compared now….

everyday was fun!!! fun!!! fun?!?……………………….

concentration on myself lessen due to i was drawn my attention to a new endeavor since longing to get in touch,to sync my beat w/ him and though i failed to follow.. concern folk mention there comments on the situation though respected my action that in the latter part i may choice to continue or not ….. vibes was correct that i feared to happen in the 1st place so i secluded my thoughts to grasp what myself may want to happen

love …….. achievement …….. help …….. truth………….

boils in the dish sauted w/ confusion and poured w/ hope and satisfaction ……….. out come?

to let go ………? to give up?…….. saddened feelings calls my heart unrested but my will must show to be alone again ….. maybe for a time can say when but most recommended by my though refused by my heart …………

hello and farewell hope i can see you soul again just like when i met you before , hope hatred can be turn to understanding and recognizing the enevitable truth. I HAVE LOST YOU . BUT YOU DIDNT LOSE ME.

wanted: renew my heart,renew me

mintypepper01 — Mon, 01 Jan 2007 15:43:49 +0000

For 3 yrs. we spend are lives together every minute and seconds we breath each other though it seemed that it is still incomplete maybe there are clouds that hinder out to our true understandings of our feelings, I do wanna blame things to whom is wrong nor to myself maybe it could be the way it has to happen but why i didnt reacted on a simple thing that could not lead to the confusion that we are facing right now its’nt right for me to keep my silence or rather than making such noise that could and may jeopardize ourselves..

Maybe i was just afraid of what more I could loose of that what I dont have anymore in the first place, even this happen I’m still gratefull of your love that you showed me , maybe it was just a love that was longing for to be shared for a minute of my lifetime, I will cherish this and still be in silence and hopefully keep it to myself forevermore.

Please dont pity me nor my action, i just need your understanding and comfort as my friend
letting go of some one that is dear to you will never be the same of letting go of my last breathe on the day that star never sparks anymore in the velvet sky ….. ocean splash its waves on my drying sanity thought
insanity still remain it will be just the calming time that we can say it will fade away like my love vanish as the each waves touches the sand of our lives

maybe i will not search for fate for now …………….
let fate finds me here and maybe I’ll be ready next time

have you ask this to yourself???

mintypepper01 — Sun, 20 Aug 2006 17:46:08 +0000

Love is one of the best things that you could have in this world even your not yet alive its good to know your concieved from love by our parents….. but sometimes you dont know if it was really love or they just made you out of lust and it happen that there too stupid by that time not knowing they are making a new life coz thre where drunk or young by that time ,its hard to ask that from your parents, would you ask that from them???

The truth may come out in someways that you dont expect it will jump out in your sorry face and could feel bad about it, hell yah it did for me, i havent asked it from my mom she really hated my dad w/c one i never met well i kinda know him from a 1×1 picture that i kept fr many years,my blured 3 yr old memory and my moms hatefull story bout his bad attitude thats all i got…. well i felt bad now coz when i went to school my classmates have both parents that attended the pta meetings but that time it didnt bother me my mom was strong by that time she could stand both roles dad and mom all together in one package she was incredible and lately when i was growing up , i found a longing feeling for dad material i dont know it was terrible coz i dont know where to start i was really messed up i just noticed i cried at night coz of envy for those people that have dads and ask myself if i was concieved out love ??? or if i was just a mistake made to do mistake also in this world ….

I thought creating my own family and promised not to break it so we can be a good one not the one i came from but i cant i reallly cant , how can you give out love if you dont how to love knowing that you where not concieved from love, hope you know where you stand … coz i know where i am now .

heyyyyyyyyyyyyy

mintypepper01 — Sun, 06 Aug 2006 21:00:57 +0000

Hmmm…. I just a hopeful and optimistic person who tends to enjoy the bright side of life.

"Leadership is not a position but rather a decision to make. You have an option to take full responsibility not only with your people but towards yourself as well. You have to be good yet remain as humble as you can. You must have a heart to feel how others would think and react to all. If you can’t decide on what to choose, then you may ask yourself this question… Why stand in someone else’s shadow when it’s your sunlight that should lead the way?"

"Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do. We do to ourselves."

And as what they said: "NEVER argue with IDIOTS, they bring you down to their level and beat you with experience"

Convenient, isn’t it?

mintypepper01 — Sun, 06 Aug 2006 19:51:28 +0000

In a world where almost everyone you meet is a jerk, you know you don’t need to be serious. Hang out, pretend, play with them… Have fun and stop anytime, no attachments, no commitments, no pain. Convenient, isn’t it? But at the end of the show, you know you’re still yearning for something genuine. You realize that what you’re really looking forward to is someone who can look at you straight in the eyes and tell you he loves you… someone worth every risk of pain… Someone who will stay… someone who will simply make a difference…

hiiiyyyahhhh watch out muggers

mintypepper01 — Sat, 05 Aug 2006 03:25:51 +0000

Thursday morning hay its dayoff bt suddenly when i was about to log out frm my pc to go home frm werk hay she have asked a favor to come toa session of self defense after calaibration/ meeting i was relly sleepy by that time "asar as in asar" but i went there anyway after i ate breakfast as in gutom jones na ang lola mo i have my pansit in the pantry well after satisfying my hunger after 5 mins chit chat we went ahead to the game room where the session is held well were all girls hehheh as in, the instructor was david and he ask if are we all women as said "yes i hope so" hehehhe he taught us move that may help us when underattack frm muggers bt the mora l of teh lesson bigay mo nalang gamit mo hehhhehe lalaban k ba kun damuho mugggers mo that is ur defense 101 hehehhee hey guys en girls aanhin mo pa un mga kukunin sayo kun may sumisirit sa tagiliran mo kya mu bilhin uli un nxtime matatagalan nga lang pro the main point is buhay ka , bt infairness i did have fun sa session lalo na un one on one na hehheheh it felt good hitting someone well thatwas a pad on his hand i like the feeling hitting a thing after the stressfull time sa work well i plan to see a couple more of his session well nxt time nalang

INTINDIHIN NYO NA LANG

mintypepper01 — Sat, 22 Jul 2006 06:43:53 +0000

I am my worst enemy. I pity myself. I’m proud of myself. I hate myself. I love myself.

I am currently in a trance of my own world –a world that does not always get accepted. I live by my own rules and even standards. I am associated with so many people or groups but I often find myself alienated and peculiar. I am different and starting to become indifferent. I don’t seem to get along with so many people. Maybe I’m just so apathetic. Or maybe I’m just too preoccupied to listen.

My reactions to things vary so greatly. I become so hard to read and understand. I feel that people find it hard to get along with me I personally think that I’m hard to get along with. I say I’m simple but on second thought I’m not. I’m a combination of different complexities a human organism could acquire. I don’t know how many people I have gotten along with well enough. Or maybe I just haven’t found the right people yet.

I’m in scrutiny of myself trying to find out who I really am. I do love myself but I sometimes hate myself. I care too much about the things I do but caring too much does not do me good. I sometimes lose the lines drawn. I love thinking about anything under the sun, matters that affect me, things that surround me. In spite of this; I still result to making impulsive decisions. I fail. Or maybe I’m just trying too hard.

I come to a conclusion that I expect too much from myself. The standards that I have and made are the ones tiring and exhausting me out. But I am used to pushing myself. Or maybe I just push myself the wrong way.

I always look forward for tomorrow for I know I can’t change the past but I can really make today and tomorrow better. But oftentimes I find that the tomorrow I have looked forward to do not end up the way I have wished for it to be. And so I look forward for tomorrow yet again. On second thought, what if tomorrow will just be like yesterday’s tomorrow. Or maybe I can manage to work out to tomorrow.

Everything seems to be so vague right now. I don’t know myself right now. I don’t know myself and I’m not so sure of anything. I don’t know where to put myself and whom should I love and trust. But I know there’ll be better days. But this time my optimistic mind wouldn’t be fickle. I know things will be alright….